A shell of myself

I have lost myself over the past few years and never really realized it until a few days ago. I was aware that I lost my life as I knew it but I did not realize that I lost my personality along the way. Being sick sucks everything out of you! I thought that this went unnoticed but recently my husband helped me with one of those AH HA moments. He said to me on Monday, “Wow Honey…its so nice to hear you laugh again!” This was also confirmed the same day by a dear friend who told me that it is “nice to have the old Heather back.” I guess I didn’t realize how far down I went or that in the process I became a shell of myself. A few good days gave me true perspective on my situation and the grip that this disease has on me. It’s consuming and draining not only for myself but for my support team.

I want to keep the small bits that I have gotten back and I hope that the good days will give me strength to remember this because if you know anything about Lyme, you know that remembering is sometimes the hardest thing to do. So IF or should I say WHEN I forget, help me remember! Remind me that I am still in here and that I can be found even if I have to dig deep. Help me!

1 thought on “A shell of myself

  1. Lori

    Oh Heather! This makes me cry. I can’t imagine you not being YOU! I pray that more and more of these discovering your old self return along with healing and strength.

    Like

    Reply

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